It has lasted for more than half a month by now, in spite of his firm determination and strong belief. However, as Jerry sat alone in front of the computer after hours, waiting for a “hello” from Cecilia, the silent and cold sound-box showed nothing.Bit by bit, Jerry sank into a deep dream…

  “Yes?”

   “Cecilia, is that you?” Finally, late in the night, a bad connection… the voice was laced with a lot of noise, some strange noise…”Can you hear me? This is Jerry.”

   “Yes.”….Then an inaudible whisper to someone else,”That’s Jerry.”……she wasn’t alone.

   “Cecilia, I’m gonna set off tomorrow.” Jerry said in a deep voice.”They told me over the telephone just now. I gotta say goodbye to you.”

   “I see..then how are things going?”

   “Everything goes just fine.You know, I wanna stay a few more days, but…”

   “I see.” Cecilia interrupted him… Jerry’s heart fell.

   It was still rainning heavily out side… “Cecilia? Are you still there?” The connection keeps fading out.”I can barely hear you!” Jerry said in an extremely anxious voice.

   “Yep, I’m right here.The phone’s still working.”

   “Ok, that’s fine,er…” said Jerry embarrassedly.”It..it has been such a long time since the day…hasn’t it? I was on line everyday, you know…but…you were not…”

   True, it had happened less and less. True, it had happened not at all in recent nights. But what if she was still keeping silent, as he was. Was everything right between them? What if she had only been waiting for the right time to tell him that it is a waste of time to be waiting for her…that she would never truly fall in love with am unsuccessful Jerry?

   “Cecilia? Hold on a moment, let me have a think,ok?”

   “Sure…” Then, she spoke again to whoever was with her, in words too quite for Jerry to hear. Was she asking her unknown companion to wait, or to leave?

   “Cecilia, are you still there?”

   “Yes, Jerry.”

   “Well, don’t you have anything to tell me?”

   “En…thanks for calling goodbye,and wish you free and successful! And, wish you find your princess there.” She said with a smile in her face.(Jerry read it from her voice)

   “But, don’t you have anything else to tell me? I'm not calling for some god damn wish or thanks...” There was tension in his voice,clearly heared even through the loud noise. “Do you know what I am doing now?”

   “No.What? er…I’m not quite following you..it’s…”

   “Oh, this is going to seem so silly, isn’t it? Hehe!” A nervous laugh.

   “Ok, tell me, Jerry.”

   “Well, right now…it is raining. Hard…so hard…” Another shower of rain, she strained to hear his voice.

   “I’m walking outside and let the rain pour down on me until I’m soaked through,” Jerry hesitated. Cecilia listened intently across the empty miles of space that lay between them.

   “I’m standing out in the rain, Cecilia, for a long, long time.” His voice dropped, became low and husky. “Why? Coz’ it feels a little bit like you, the falling rain feels a little like you, touching me, caring about me. Coz’ I want to be with you, I want to dance with you, to work with you, to live with you, to take care of you! And the rain on my skin is as close as I could get to feeling you touch me. Coz’s I miss you so much…”

   There’s no response from the other side…Was she wordless? Was she moved by Jerry? Was she sinking in thought? Was she trying to say something? Was she stepping towards the window? Was she looking at the out side rain too? Was she turning to her Mr unknown for what she has to say? Was she really worried about the spoony rain man?

   The answer is “No”…they lost connection, just before Jerry told her the last sentence he wanted to say. His battery in the cell-phone was dead, at a wrong time. And his heart was dying, at the same time.

   “I love you, Cecilia, love you so so much…” the rain’s falling harder…kissing him lightly on the cheek…

   Cecilia, Do you hear me?

(Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the night's
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can't wait till morning
-----------------------------------------------------

   I went to his Q-zone yesterday afternoon...for an unkown reason...
   I don't know why but I was feeling rather blue last night.I sat up working till all hours of the night to finish my mood story. Not a memo,not a tale, not the impression of his words...I was just relieving my feelings，something was too intense to stand，something cut me terribly...
   Breakdown or breakthrough? I don't know...I just kept writing and typing as a mechine.I don't know what the hell I wanted to show in the story even.I didn't give way to hysteria.But I was asking myself the same question over and over again—— How can I let it go?
   It was nearly 1 o'clock when I finished the story.I lay down on the bed,listing attentively to my inner thoughts.When silence replaced noise,dark replaced light, calm replaced sentimental,things have begun to settle down again...My eyes had been fogged by a strong drowsiness, which also lulled me to sleep.However,I was still wandering through the borderland between sleeping and waking.
   I was never satisfied with my writing skill,but I do have finished the story with all my heart. It was the first english story I'd ever written and that's a true reflection of what is in my heart.I had too much to tell her,but the words stuck in my throat again and again, for they are really out of time at this moment...so, writing down is all I can do.Sending my love in one diary after another, sending my wish in one story after another, sending my feeling in one dream and another...that's me,that's myself.
   I saw "Jerry Maquire"for the forth time today.And I do find something new——an old song in this film called "free falling": "yeah, I'm free! free falling!..."
When can I be truly free? When can I be falling freely as the rain?
   I was quite myself yesterday,but I was not free...