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14/08/2005 August, 1st—— My Plato Love... Is she a real un-bright meteor in my life, passed away and disappeared in a split second? Is she the real Cinderella in my life, went away and vanished without a backward glance? Is she a real fairy in my life, flew away and hid herself in the beautiful flowers? She’s gone, yet her silhouette is left deep in my head…although I even couldn’t recall what she looks like exactly……
I have always thought that there was only one type of love, which was that feeling of overwhelming with someone and living with her. I’m aware that every time I fall for someone, the desire for her always standing by my side doese exist. However, situation’s totally different this time. I’m quite aware that I will definitely walk alone on my way to ZJU, without anybody running with me, without anybody playing with me, without anybody taking care of me------without the one loved by me. The famous philosopher of ancient Greece Plato brought up an excellent way to think about love. He explained that love can be broken down into two types, that of common and heavenly love. The common love is that when a man and a woman join merely to satisfy their basic desires of love. This is the exact type I used to have. On the other hand, the heavenly love is the type that occurs when one is attracted to another one with a strong force that comes from deep soul------a soul-soul love. This is the exact type I am having on her------ love as Plato. She doesn’t belong to me, but my heart has been belonged to her coz’ she has already had me at “Kiss the rain”------the melody gave me a new birth. As I am leaving, it reminds me a lot: her gentle voice, her sweet smile, her cute words, her active attitude, her helpful encouragement and her maturely good suggestions…so on…so on…I’ve never met such a bright meteor, I’ve never seen such a real fairy, I’ve never imagined that such an unforgettable girl would appeared in my life! Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. Without any doubt, I’m grateful sincerely to God, for she is the one, my princess… I have big plans for the future. At the moment I am only a senior student although I should have been a college student, but things will be different one day for sure. I know that if I study hard I can achieve my goal, whatever and however it is. For a start, I wanna get out of this town and head Hangzhou for a while. While I am there I will further my study, learn more about a different way of living a life and find out the avenue to success. I wanna come back home with new skills and new ideas that can help myself to an ideal college. I wanna study with her and I have many ideas in my head that will one day come into reality. I wanna create new things that will make my life more colorful and more excellent, but it will only happen if I work hard now. She’s gonna date a new era in her life and now she’s there, studying her fevorite major, provided by her knight’s support, care and love. I know that if I am diligent I can join her sooner or later, and nothing’s impossible then. But first I need to obtain support and determination which just can be found deep in my mind. At 19 years of age, I’m no longer an ignorant kid, and I know I haven’t got forever. So I’m starting to think about something new, something I’ve never experienced and something needful. At age of 10, I didn’t have many plans, in fact, where and how to spend the next night is about as far ahead as I usually thought. At age of 15, to get in a key senior school has become the only purpose in my life. However, at age of 19, everything has changed. Now that I have my princess to think about, I’m starting to think of where I want my life to head, I’m starting to give consideration to many important things and people, I’m starting to build up an appropriate aim of the coming years. I’m no longer indulging in dreams, I’m no longer building castles in the air, I’m no longer seeing the world with an innocent sight. I’m a mature adult, had many misfortunes in life, knowing what I gotta do and what I can’t do at this time. I felt convinced that I am totally different from the one lost his hope of life last year in many many ways. For me, love and girls are not the whole of life any more, by a long chalk. I won’t indulge myself when I failed in love or anything else, I won’t let myself sink in an extremity of pain, no matter who brings it to me. I won’t shed a single tear of failure or frustration, no matter how painful it is. I won’t complain about anything, no matter what is gonna happen. You see, I’ve got a strong personality already, I’ve got a will of iron——pains and sorrow revived me. To pursue my dear princess iz exactly as hard as I expected. But it wasn’t the result. It won’t be the result until she step into the temple for marriage, with her prince waiting inside. You might tell me that I seem to go too far, nobody knows what will happen in the future, nobody can make sure that I will always love her and nobody is so stupid to be waiting for a never-never girl…so many “nobody”s make it seem to be a bad and wrong decision. In spite of it, I’m still wondering: I’m wondering why I’m always treated as a playboy but no one understood what my true personality is? I’m wondering why doubt and distrust are found every where when I say that she is my desire? I’m wondering why I have to stand in the corner, seeing the meteor passing by instead of shouting out the real wish in my heart? I’m wondering why do I have to carry the can when something goes wrong even if it is not my false at all? I’m wondering why I’m so spoony that once I fall in love, I could hardly pull myself out of my dreams of her? I’m wondering why the happy ending I’ve been looking for since I fell for someone always turned out to be tragic and miserable? Maybe my princess is still far away, maybe there’s still a long long journey waiting for me, maybe I will face the difficulties and frustrations of today and tomorrow. I still have a dream! I have a dream that one day my sky will no longer be covered with the clouds of loneliness and sadness, so that I can fly freely! I have a dream that one day I will make a do of my study, take control of my life and live out the true meaning of a man! I have a dream that one day every role in my play, male and female, old and young will sincerely give me the best wish of love and show me a happy ending! I have a dream that one day I will be able to show my dear princess my royalty and determination by entering the dream-school successfully! I have a dream that one day I will make the calendar and diaries a witness of my long-live love and all the hardships come along with me. I have a dream that one day in the warm soft summer breeze, I will be able to sitting with her, hand in hand at a table of happiness! I have a dream that one day we will make a flute out of the newly green spring branches and play a love melody together like sister and brother! I have a dream that one day she will dance humming tune with a lovely plait at the back of her head, swaying left and right briskly! I have a dream that one day we will hug each other quietly and passionately, listening to each other’s breathes and heart-beatings! I have a dream that one day on the top of the city, with a 11 months’ wait, with a 343 days’ hope, with a 8232 hours’ desire, with she standing by my side, I will send all my wishes and love high up in the sky, whispering to the moon and star, passing my secret to my princess and, saying: “I made it! I made it! I have made it!” … And I have a dream today! This is my hope. This is my hope! This is the faith that I will study and live with! With this faith, every time will be a good time because of the warm touch of love, every night will be brighten up by the sun growing in my heart, every desert will turn out to be a wonder land full of glowing flowers! With this faith, I will be able to transform the jarring notes of my life into a wonderful symphony of perfection. With this faith I will be able to establish myself as a strong and energetic sailor by fighting against the surrounding wind and waves. With this faith, I will be able to inspire a weak-minded Simon with courage and strength to make him the cream of the crop! After 2 months’ stay, I am leaving for the prosperous as well as unknown city, tomorrow morning. The scenes were so fresh and vivid to me when I was on my way back home on the afternoon of June,29th : the sun was brightly shining on the expressway that seemed endlessly long and unbelievably even; the cars and trucks were running ahead or speeding by; in the fields there was a green world as the effect of the summer charm; on both sides of the expressway were trees that stood alive and fresh, showing the recycling of seasons and rebirth of life; when the sun was setting, its bright light broke through the rows of sophora trees’ green branches on the car’s right side, moving along like some scenes in a documentary film or romantic story. Suddenly I realized the beauty of sun setting and some reason why film conductors and painters and poets had a special favor for it. It was incredibly charming and enchanting when the sunshine was breaking through fresh green leafs of handsome sophora trees---a dynamic beauty in dazzling glare. I was much aware of the thoughts and feelings when I watched the scenes in the car along the expressway while listening to some sentimental songs. The sense outside the car is generous, the life is generous, but it is me who was not generous, sometimes, for something or someone. I wanted to get more, still more until I forget what exactly goals I wanted to accomplish in my life. Goals in life are just like those marks of wheels on the expressway, they are either replaced by the new ones or washed away by the rain. The roads are old, but the marks seem always new. Now I’m quite clear of my goals: study hard, enter ZJU and keep pursuing my princess… Again, tomorrow, I’m going to see the scenes along the expressway, to listen to the songs, to re-experience the thoughts and feelings all the way long to the bran-new city. I don’t know what inspiration I am going to get meanwhile, yet I do know that my thoughts, my feelings, my memory will get entangled with the songs, the scenes and seasons on my way---my journey of life. It’s a long long journey but also an alone alone journey...for finding my love as Plato------a mental love... Comments (2)
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